Heart and brain

Listen to your heart.

Do what's supposed to be done.

What do you really want?

Why should I message first?

How does it matter who messages in friendship?

Our mind fights within itself to decide upon such things of what we want and what we should do. What do we actually end up doing..?

Whether to go by what heart says or by the brain?

In most emotional relationships going by the heart works since we leave our ego aside and be ourselves.

But, in some circumstances, the heart is very selfish. It would empathise with the other person but still fail to accept and understand...

The brain tries to control it. Even tries to rationalize by reminding past experiences and lessons learnt. 

But, will we ever learn?

Actually, change?

Consider.

See someone else's point of view?

Heart v/s brain as we may call it or our mind versus our innermost desires. Who wins?

Who should win?

Whatever you choose, you have to face the consequences.

Either the wrath of hurting someone or the pain of your own aching heart.

What choice do you make?

Keep Thinking.

Gratitude

A feeling of 'Gratitude' 

The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

When any other person, maybe a friend, a family member or an acquaintance does something kind, this feeling of Gratitude fills up our heart.

Living in times, where we need to be realists; when we have been betrayed, used or just looked upon as an opportunity to gain something. When somebody does a kind act, it overwhelms us. It may not be tangible.

 A kind word, keeping company, spending time or treating each other as family. 

Small gestures, few words, big heart and open arms.  <---^_^--->

As kids, we get all these things without even asking or craving for it. People are just waiting to make us smile and take us in their arms. We don't have to work for it or even earn it. Then, when we start growing up, we start taking these things for granted and don't value them as much. 

We have things to focus on. Have a goal in life. Work upon it.

We have to do so many things. Perform chores, be independent. 

We have to grow in our careers. We have to work on our talents. Yes, we have to be there for the family. Give them time. We do all these things.

Some things we do for others too. Help them.

Do we really do it for them?

We are selfish beings and there is no such thing as being selfless because, every act we do, even though, for others, is a selfish act, as it gives us some kind of happiness.

We are honest and good individuals not just for society but also because we have to live with ourselves. 

We make ourselves believe that we are doing a favor for somebody or helping them by being there but, that's not really the case.

It is our desire or wish too. 

We want to be there. 

We expect the same from them, too.

We expect. We get rejected at times, due to priorities and we get hurt. We understand. We empathize. We may fight, too. We may feel let down.

We stop expecting.

We grow.

We become strong to these situations.

We don't change ourselves or our behavior towards our people but we accept the fact that their priorities and attitudes are different. 

We accept that they may not want the same things as us and we find some median if possible, in some cases and let it go, for others.

As we become realists, still believing in the good and kind, somewhere.

We try to be kind as much possible to try to make a difference, even if it's little. So, that our faith stays in this ruthless competitive race everyone seems to be on.

Then, there is this moment. When someone else does a kind gesture.

It can be as small as someone pulling a door for you, when your hands are full or someone lending a ear to your rants. Someone, genuinely inquiring 'How have you been?' or someone, lending you a book you wanted to read. Some praising you behind your backs, or some planning a trip or party for you. Someone, appreciating to your efforts or someone criticizing you without making you defensive. Someone, letting you use something they gave you for a little while more or someone,trying to encourage your talent. Someone, consoling you when you are down or someone, giving a pat on the back when well deserved. Someone, accompanying you for a movie you wanted to watch or someone, helping you search something like a job, house, phone, car, accessory or a dress you want.

So many things, our people keep doing for us, every day.

They encourage us, feel proud about us, love us. Most of all, they treat us as family.

They give us the most important thing they have.

Time.

We feel humbled by the people we have in life.

They are family. And, even if we have so many, we want all. 

It hurts us, to purposefully leave or not talk to someone due to any reason.

Since, it takes two, we move on.

And, every time someone does a kind gesture, we are thankful.

Thankful for keeping our hopes up.

Thankful for their kindness.

Yet, we do not express it. We know, we should. But, we don't.

When we do,

we feel blessed.

We feel peace.


Keep Thinking!

Reservations in Maharashtra,India and Maratha Kranti Morcha

India is probably the only country in the world to have "Caste-based" reservation which started in the British era before India gained Independence and still exists.

What has been the Impact of reservations in India? Has it been of any use?

One 2010 study of 16 of India’s biggest states did look at the effect on poverty in backward groups of their getting quotas of representatives, from 1960 to 2000. The report’s authors, Aimee Chin and Nishith Prakash, say theirs is the only study ever to ask how an affirmative -action policy, of any sort, has affected poverty in India. 

Their conclusion: for “scheduled tribes”, who are conveniently crowded near one another on electoral maps, greater political clout has indeed led to a small drop in poverty. 

But for the “scheduled castes”, by contrast, it has made absolutely no difference at all.

The various quotas have partly achieved their most basic tasks. In public jobs members of backward groups claim more posts than of old. Dalits had just 1.6% of the most senior (“Group A”) civil servant positions in 1965, for example. That rose to 11.5% by 2011, not far off the 16% or so of the general population that Dalits represent. The share is higher for more junior posts.

Judging a broader impact is harder. Very few Indians have formal jobs, let alone government ones. “The [jobs] policy only matters for perhaps 2% of the Indian work force”, points out Harsh Shrivastava of the World Development Forum, a think-tank in Delhi. 

Other than in tweaking quotas (to reflect the local size of a “scheduled” population) states have never experimented, nor competed, to find out whether their jobs policies have any wider, beneficial impact.

Worse, the policy has probably helped to make India’s bureaucracy increasingly rotten—and it was already one of the country’s greater burdens. An obsession with making the ranks of public servants representative, not capable, makes it too hard to sack dysfunctional or corrupt bureaucrats. In December 2012 parliament’s upper house passed a bill ordering that bureaucrats be promoted not on merit alone, but to lift the backward castes faster.

MARATHA KRANTI MARCH

Demands

1.      Punishment to culprits in Kopardi rape and murder case.

2.      Reservation in education and government jobs.

With this request, the vested interests of the political parties backing this protest has been exposed.

3.      Implement recommendations of National Commission on Farmers chaired by Prof. M. S. Swaminathan.

4.      Amendment in Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe (Prevention of Atrocities) Act, 1989 to stop its misuse.

Other demands include loan waiver schemes for Maratha farmers.

Appreciation

The police are appreciating these silent marches for its discipline and cleanness. Millions of Maratha joined this movement silently. This is one of the World's Largest Peaceful Protest March. This protest brought together Maratha Community. Till date in various regions across Maharashtra, India almost 20 to 30 Million people have actively participated in this march at different location

Justice Sawant, former chairman

Justice Sawant stepped down from the post of chairman of a committee formed by the morcha. This had followed a representation circulated by the morcha's leaders to MLAs, MPs and other political heavyweights, claiming that the Justice Sawant committee had suggested a repeal of the Atrocities Act, as well as pressing for 16 per cent reservation for Marathas. Justice Sawant, who was at the forefront of designing a strategy to deal with the issues faced by the community, looks pained when any reference to the committee crops up. Saying that he had not even attended any of the committee's meetings, he asks how the morcha's leaders could have named him as the architect of this point of view. "The representation purported to suggest that [the demand to repeal the Atrocities Act and the 16 per cent reservation] was the decision of the committee. I, therefore, found myself in a quandary. These views-which were not mine-were being presented as mine, since I was 'chairman' of the committee. I felt that the situation would lead to untoward consequences, apart from the misrepresentation of my views. Therefore, I took the step of freeing myself from the responsibilities," he says.

Justice Sawant insists that the committee was formed without his knowledge, when active leaders of the morcha met in Aurangabad in September. "They included my name as chairman of the committee. I was not consulted. I understand some of the other members of the committee were also not consulted. I learnt about it through the press. However, in order to avoid misunderstandings and to honour the sentiments of the people, I did not protest against my inclusion."

According to him, the Atrocities Act needs only an amendment to Section 9, which gives police officers the authority to immediately arrest a person against whom an FIR has been filed under this act. A method of fixing this, he says, is to amend the act so that police officers are required to take permission from a local magistrate before making an arrest. He also believes that getting reservations for Marathas in educational institutes and government jobs will first require several legal formalities to be taken care of .

On November 27, Justice Sawant had held a rally in Pune, aimed at persuading the youth to look beyond the idea of reservations. "Even if [the Marathas] get their reservations, only a very, very small proportion of the community will benefit. The vast majority will remain deprived."

After continuous growing protest in each city and millions of peoples participation in each Maratha Kranti Morcha, on 13 October 2016 the Government of Maharashtra took decision and

Increased the upper limit of the Economically Backward Class (EBC) to Rupee 600,000 (Rupee 0.6 Million) and announced extension of monetary benefits under this category to students from all castes. 

The students from the EBC category studying in all professional courses will be eligible for the benefits such as fee reimbursement under the Rajshri Shahu Maharaj Scheme, which was named after the Maratha king Rajshri Shahu of Kolhapur who introduced reservation policy for the first time in his kingdom Kolhapur State.

Announced schemes for children of small land holding farmers under the Panjabrao Deshmukh Scheme. The children of farmers with small land holding (2.5 Hectare for non-irrigated and 2 Hectare for irrigated) will be given financial assistance to pay housing rents in different cities. The upper limit for metros will be Rs. 30,000 a year, while that for smaller cities, it will be Rs. 20,000 a year.

In June 2017, a 100% waiver scheme for farmers has been announced in Maharashtra.

Should Reservations really be part of our system?

Since,the existing reservations have not made any major impact as per the studies.

Although, we appreciate the non violent nature of the marches which may turn into a violent one (Chakka Jam) if the demands are not met and of course, that will only impact more innocents. It maybe the bureaucracy or some hidden agendas and conspiracy. It could be the grudges of Marathas for the Dalits or vice versa. Just for the benefit of doubt, could they be a reverse psychology to abolish reservations all together?

We wonder when will the caste system be eradicated and we treat each other as Individuals.

We would be happier if the marches were by Maharashtrians than just the Marathas.

The candle march held for Nirbhaya was not a caste based one. All Indians demanded Justice.

The Dalits of the village wanted to take part in the protest since they also felt the same which would probably have made the protest even stronger but they were denied.

So, are these marches really aiming at justice for the rape victim? or is this another attempt of "Divide and Rule" or  in Little Finger's words, "Chaos is a ladder."

Keep Thinking!

References:

1.        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reservation_in_India
2.        http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/maratha-agitation-maharashtra-kranti-morcha/1/855493.html
3.        http://www.deccanchronicle.com/business/economy/250617/maharashtra-unveils-rs-34000-cr-loan-waiver-89-lakh-farmers-to-benefit.html
4.         https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maratha_Kranti_Morcha
5.        https://www.economist.com/blogs/banyan/2013/06/affirmative-action
6.        http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/india-rape-murder-teenager-silent-protests-maharasthra-demonstration-inequality-a7346771.html
7.        http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-37538115
8.        http://www.hindustantimes.com/mumbai-news/three-theories-behind-the-maratha-silent-protests/story-Mr8piR7gypI7AWAH4lgHgO.html
9.        http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2016/04/16/nana-patekar-farmers-suicide_n_9698856.html

10.     http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/maharashtra-government-raises-ebc-limit-to-rs-6-lakh-with-a-rider/articleshow/54840497.cms

Believe in Love

Of late, things are starting to seem too superficial. Relationships, love, marriage these words sound more of a narrative. Being practical and realist is the demand of this new world. Stop living in the fairytale they say. You never know what life may turn into. So, stop imagining and expecting a beautiful life or a partner they say. This does not really promise happiness but atleast you save yourself the heartache later.


Let us be Stubborn. We cannot stop believing in Love. Believing in the most wonderful of states that can ever exist and actually be felt by a human. Making you feel so human.

Love.

Yeah.. there are people who seem promising at the beginning who turn out to be jerks later and there are some with whom it just doesn't seem to workout. There are others who may not be as interested and there are those who can be just your friends.

Even after those heartbreaks. Even after the excruciating pain love can bring. Even after those awful times. We cannot stop believing in love. Love will always remain beautiful. One of the most beautiful feelings to have for someone. To be loved and to get love in return, not many people get to experience that.


And after experiencing it, how beautiful it is, we cannot just let that feeling go.

We want to have it again.  And not just the innocent teenager love but the mature one which just grows in time.

The one that makes you feel alive and to be thankful for each day.

The one that makes you feel lucky to have him/her by your side.

If true love had been vanished, why would they be making movies about it yet. Why would people still go out and pay for the same boy meets girl, girl meets boy and they fall in love thing again.

If there wasn't real love, wouldn't the world be collapsing already? Haha, that's exaggerating.

But, there are real couples who are lucky and also mature enough to handle each other. To accept each other and care for each other.

There are people who truly not only believe in it but also abide by it their whole lives. They make sacrifices small or big ones, just for their loved ones.

Be a cynic. Be a realist. Or be a romantic. It's your choice.

Don't stop believing in love. It's one of the most powerful and liberating feelings felt. Pain and sadness do come along. It's just how we learn to deal with it.

Believe in Love.

Keep loving. Keep believing. Keep thinking.

You are the introvert who wants to stay alone.

You are the introvert who wants to stay alone. I am the extrovert who wouldn't want to let you go. It's ok if we do not speak any words. It's ok if you do not share, for now.

Will it be ok, if I hugged you? If I could just sniff you. Your smell.
If I could feel that warmth.

I do not know how to leave you alone. I do not understand.
As an extrovert, I wouldn't want to be abandoned.

Those rules don't apply to you. I know.

To be with yourself, with something you have been going through. You want to be alone in your own company, doesn't mean you are lonely. You do not need me.

You may come along after contemplating. And even share those things that bothered you. Your insights.

For now, you want that space.

I am sorry. Would it be ok, if we hugged and not speak a word?

You could contemplate in my arms.

That is too much to be asking for at this moment.

It pains me to let you go and just be, even if it is the right thing.

Why do I always be selfish and not think about you?

Cause your solace is in not having a talk.

I wish it was as easy for you as it is for me.

I make it tougher cause of the hurt I feel.

Why is it tough to give you that peace?

Why do I bother you and make you a beast?

Is it my concern, care or love? Whatever it is, it's useless as it hurts. Either ways one of us is hurt. Then, why isn't it me but I choose to hurt you instead?

What do I say more, could I get a hug?

When do we wake up?

Azaan controversy of Sonu Nigam attracted a lot of criticism from people about how he should have been more considerate while speaking his point; about how he sounded rude, how it was a religious attack.

He was annoyed of waking up early due to the loud sound.

Some people blame the government for everything. They want a bill for defining the decibels.

My question is,

Why can't we be responsible ourselves and stop polluting the environment in any form? Why do we need a rule to tame us from doing something wrong? I mean even if it is legal/illegal, we know it's bothersome. The recent event of a spiritual leader spoilt our rivers for decades. The blame was put on the officials who passed the order to carry out the event. But, in any social events we organize, isn't it our responsibility to make sure, anybody/environment is not harmed in any way? On new year event in Bengaluru, wasn't it the responsibility of the people who were part of the event, to stop girls being molested instead of waiting for police to do their jobs?

Why do we turn a blind eye towards our ethical responsibility? We do not empathize the sick, the poor or the weak. We do not care about the trees, the birds, the beauty. Why ?

We are humans. We are blessed with a brain which can create miracles and if used properly, we can live in harmony without harming the environment. But, we never think about anyone else. We do not think about the impact of our actions. The effect that it creates. Take an instance, of the loud horns of certain vehicles. There have been instances where you feel defeaning if a horn is honked. But, unless he/she is legally obliged to follow any rule regarding the decibels of horns, unless generating a fear of getting jailed/fined for the act, he/she will never learn. We are so unapologetic and selfish about everything that we need the legal systems to make us realize that somethings are wrong and unacceptable.

Do we ever need to teach people like dhoni/sachin/rahul dravid to play a fair play or not to do something which can ever be bothersome to others? No. They are intelligent and responsible citizens who probably take more care about the people and environment around them. Why don't we idealize people like that? Why don't we see the good and be influenced by it instead of just blindly following, even copying, what we find cool?

When are we going to start thinking about the implications we have as a human and prove that that's makes us human; rather than saying mistakes make us human.


Why?

When do wake up in the actual sense and think about our actions?

Keep thinking.

What's a Half Girlfriend?

More and more relationships these days have "it's complicated" status. These complexities can be many: one sided love, not so sure, lack of trust, lack of commitment and yes, the friendzoned ones.

These relationships have strong friendships. And when it's between a boy and a girl; Strong friendships sometimes, become more. 

We are friends for a longtime and we know, understand each other very well. We are comfortable with each other. So much so, that we share the deepest secrets and experiences and aren't ashamed of being judged.

The bond is strong and there is respect; we know we won't hurt the other person by saying anything mean.

The basic foundation of a romantic relationship is in place, which is, according to me: trust, respect, love, conversation. 

Also, in some friendships, at some point in time, he/she may confess having a crush on the other. So, the one who has a crush, is generally very sweet and gives the compliments and what we call "bhaav" in our desi way!

Then, the relationship becomes little flirty and sweet. Some relationships also have "friends with benefits" tag, which leads to more closeness, because the trust factor is too strong.

But, more than physical attraction, half girlfriend is the one, whom he loves and probably, she loves him too, you know, in a way you can't define.

There's​ a point in a friendship between a guy and a girl when they feel more than just friends. 

It's​ because you may have some enjoyable conversations, the hugs and the xoxo, the way you feel when you talk to the person and the responses you get, attraction, caring and such.

Basically, you feel there's something more to it than plain friendship. But then, it's up to the both of you, how you take it forward. It could turn into a relationship or it may just stay at that point.

When the boyfriend/girlfriend tag comes, we fear of the fights and fulfilling expectations.

At this stage, we get the best of both worlds i.e. friendship and no unnecessary expectations.
That's why, probably, we may have that comfort in a relationship called "Half Girlfriend". 

Neither of them is compelled to do things.

But, both of them, do sweet gestures and help each other when in need.

All relationships need not culminate with marriage or an affair. Some relationships are special in their own way!

Keep thinking!

Do let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend

Who live without Love - Part 2

Continued from Part 1

http://thinkinganagha.blogspot.in/2017/02/who-live-without-love-part-1.html?m=1

Now, there are also, some who are able to express!

Is that enough?

What about proving it ?


----------

Oh... We live in a selfish world. There is nothing called as love. Everything is a business.

Everything is about profitability. So, why bother?

Why get hurt?

Why go through the turmoil, when we can just fake it?

Why not stick to 'white lies'?

Because, people never change.

And we cannot change anyone..

So, we don't even 'try'!!!


---------


So, that just basically means 'We are losers'.


We have accepted defeat even before entering the race.

Oh... I am a pain in the a**


Why do we even have to talk about it?

Ohh...  So, when your conscience got a little turmoil.. you just shun it away?

Why? Because, we refuse to accept it.

We are too weak. Too vulnerable.

We are.. not loved enough. To actually love someone else.

So, we continue in the conquest of life, where there is no satisfaction. . . .

And so, I pity thy Life.


We fail in knowing how to love, be loved truely, deeply, unconditionally.




So, how can we succeed?


Just Love. Everyone knows it naturally. Bring it out. Be more honest to yourself. Stop shunning your conscience for once.

Face it. And if you fail at it. What's to lose, really?

I know what, The Ego. Well, that's good if it goes...


Being real and true to self harmed nobody.


   Keep thinking!

Who live without Love - Part 1

Dumbledore's statement strikes a chord.

He is absolutely right in his statement. For people, who live without love, I feel pity.


Love. That feeling, that emotion.

There are married couples, with children who say that they may not exactly love each other.

There are children who do not entirely love their parents.

There are even parents who do not love their children so much.


It's a pity. Really!



It's not a false relationship. But, some kind of 'by the way' or an obligatory relationship.

How can that happen?

When, even with friends, we experience that love and warmth. Oh, don't get started on "friendzOned stuff".


Well, we may not love everybody we speak to but,there's got to be a person or even a pet whom we love with all our heart.



And yes, I also pity those who may have it but fail to be able to express it.


What happened?

Why are we afraid to say 'I love you'?

To give a warm hug or just that loving look?

Why do we keep so aloof and pretend to be robots without feelings?


And, most importantly, why the heck, we start judging our own selves about how stupid we will look if we did all that?

Does showing love really affect your self-image?

Seriously, dude? Get a real mirror.

Open your eyes as to where are we going.

And some of them, even get ashamed by it.. like the show in the movies. A child asking his mother to stop kissing in public.


Sometimes, we become so involved into smaller things that we forget to see the clear picture. Like, living in a pixel of an image.

We need to come above it. And see, reflect, what's more important to us?

Keep thinking!

Continued in part 2

http://thinkinganagha.blogspot.in/2017/02/who-live-without-love-part-2.html?m=1

Molestation

Molestation 

Sexual abuse

Sadly, these words exist in our world.

Be it a city, a village, a developed country or an undeveloped one.

Be it in a train, bus, stage shows or inside our own homes.

Sometimes, we don't know how to even react to it?

It may be very subtle like a shopkeeper brushes his fingers off your breasts while merely trying to show you the top or a tailor brushing off his forehand while measuring your size.

It could be the people taking advantage of the mob. While taking the staircase of a really crowded station, trying to grab, grope or brush elbows and blaming it on the huge push coming on. Sometimes, it's a real reason, sometimes, it's a chance they take.

Perverts.

I am not going to describe more hideous things.

But as we grow up, we learn to ignore the constant stares and the noticeable touch, which they pretend as if it never happened.

That feeling.. such an irky feeling.. 

It feels dirty.

I don't understand what people get by slight or evident touching someone else against their will? 

How can humans be evil like that?

Troubling and seeking pleasure over someone else's irritation?

Harassing someone.

What kind of mindset these people have? And why?

Why does this happen all over the world?

It's so common. It's Shameful.

Why education, prosperity or even success hasn't been able to overcome such evil mentality?

Why does the bad prevail everywhere?

I am writing this because I feel heartbroken when I see this happening in every society regardless of religion, nationalism, gender, or any other divide.

It happens to men, women, transgender, gay, children, adults, old people and guess what? Even the dead.

This pure lust and no love or intamacy. No mercy.

No conscience. Where does this come from?

These people are all around us.

They just sprang up when they get that opportunity. Until then, they can be sophisticated or your everyday common man. You may never know or be able to read over their masks.

Why is this so prevalent?

Why are we not able to do anything about it in so many years?

Why are we ignoring it and turning a deaf ear to these incidents?

Don't we love and respect each other as humans first? 

Why the good in us stays hidden and we don't take a stand for others and raise voice for them without having an alter motive?

Why don't we, the good people, spread the goodness wide, to overcome this menace?

It is us, who are suffering.

I do agree it's just our bodies. No one can touch our souls. 

"You don't have soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

It's upto us how much we let it affect us. 

But, that doesn't take it away that molestation is bad. 

We learn to move on, like we do when probably we get hurt by a stone or a cut that heals.

Scars remain and fade away.

Sometimes, we try to hit back or fight it.

Shout at the person. Yell. Swear. Become mad. Cry.

We just got to deal with it. Somehow.

Keep Thinking.

What are your thoughts? Tell me.